Forgiveness

I had my worst week this week. It is sad, totally SAD.But it is getting better and I hope it will maintain that way. I had huge argument with my boyfriend and a friend. I had solved my love-relationship-problem and not my-friend-problem... maybe only one third of it... this friend-problem thingy.

So, my entry today is about FORGIVENESS. As humans, we never get away from making mistakes. Have we really considered what are the consequences and causes of making these mistakes? We lie, we cheat, we are ego, being hypocrite and many more negative things that need not to be mentioned. After that, what do we do? We ask for forgiveness, we say sorry, we apologize for all the wrongs that we have made.

In this time of Advent, this is what we should do - Forgive. We forgive, and we are forgiven. I made a lot of mistakes in my life. I have made wrong decisions and wrong choice. It tore me apart, made me sad and thinking of myself as useless and no worth in anyone's life because I have made them sad and angry.

When we did wrong, people seem to not see things clearly. We have apologized, and seem it is not enough. It is true that what ever happens, what ever we do, there are reasons behind it. So, we have ask for forgiveness, and still, we still raise up the same issue every day. There are things with doubt, and we can't stop ourselves from asking. But, have we ever wonder that it is best to let go? Popular saying that we always heard of >> Let bygones, be bygones. But, we just can't... stop asking, right?




We demand a lot of things in this world and we have high expectations on some people, especially the ones that we care and love. However, we can't have what we want, and we will be disappointed and sad. The good thing about FORGIVENESS is what we felt after we apologized and being forgiven. Some may not see the value of forgiving, but as we feel that we have been forgiven, HUGE RELIEF of heavy burden has been released from our hearts and shoulders.







What if... when the person forgives you, it is only for the sake of say "I forgive you" or "I am sorry, too" and not actually mean it? How do we know? What should we do? The best thing is to ignore this feeling of doubt and curiosity whether or not to analyze that particular person REALLY and HONESTLY forgive you. May be this step is not working for some of you, I agree. But, I don't like things to become worst where there are lots of questions to be answered and doubts to be cleared.

It is good to say SORRY and asks for FORGIVENESS, but we can't expect to be FORGIVEN. It is up to them to forgive and we can't say anything much about this. At the very least, I believe that we do our part to say sorry and ask for forgiveness. We need to be patient and I know at times, it is hard to do so.












There are lots of things to say about FORGIVE.
One of it is FORGIVE and FORGET. But, do we really forgive and forget? I do not think so. We can never forget things that happen to us, especially involving those people we love. They might forgive but they will NEVER FORGET. Because we have done wrong and hurt them so much, yes, they forgive, but mind you, one day the issue MIGHT be raised again because they NEVER FORGETS and because it is HARD TO FORGET for them. I am not a saint nor an angel. I make mistakes, and I do forgive. However, to forget? Let I answer it by myself.

I do not want things to get worst and I do not like myself to think too much. I know, I THINK TOO MUCH that sometime it affect me in either good or bad in a way.


This is what we call LIFE. We can't bear all the challenges and torn, but we live with it because we are still living in this world. A lot of things to be learned, and many things to be considered, a lot of issues to be solved and many things to be think of.

Thought of the day>>>> It is not enough just to say SORRY. To forgive and not to forget maybe just one of the ways, but to forgive and being forgiven is the beautiful thing in the world to start things new.
In this lovely time of Advent, I would like to say I am SORRY to all my family, friends and especially to my boyfriend, Daniel. I am so sorry that I have broken your heart, make you sad and cry, for what I have said, or ignore you and suddenly forget about you... and many things that I could not mentioned (the lists is LONG, you know...). I am SORRY..again. Would you forgive me? I hope to be part of you again and may this Christmas is full of HAPPINESS and JOY to all.

Love you always and forever... huge hug and kisses.